Blog - Church Mouse

Church Mouse

Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
In my previous blog, I apparently put the cart before the horse so to speak. In order to have my stories flow, I will share with you how I met my soul mate/best friend, Gordon. It was Halloween of 1990. A local pickup hockey team was hosting their annual dance before the season started. I hesitated about going because I had just come out of a bad relationship,but then again I didn't want to sit home and watch the paint dry.
Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
How does someone cope with the dreaded news of being HIV positive and keep moving forward?
Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
Who would have thought that a timid and self conscious mouse like me would get up and tell my story of how HIV/AIDS has affected my life? I grew up in rural Ontario, where we planted corn, had a huge vegetable garden and pigs to feed. I think I had a pretty normal childhood. I attended the local high school when AIDS hadn't even been heard of yet! So....it sort of makes sense that my first exposure as a HIV positive speaker would be to a grade nine class in Paris, Ontario. My hands shook, my knees wobbled and my brain was mush. My thoughts were .....OMG what have I got myself into?!
Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
I once asked Beth, "Who do you write a journal for and who would want to read it? "
I don't remember her answer, but I soon found out in times of stress, it helped me to put my feelings down on paper. Writing letters to my husband was my coping skill that helped me get through the worst days of my life.
Dear Gordon,
Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
In January of 1998 I had a regular visit with Patricia (the Chaplin at the hospital). She was the easiest outsider to talk to about my grief issues. On this particular visit I told her "I don't know if I've come to some sort of acceptance around the death of my husband or if it is the calm before the storm. I am having a hard time functioning, When Gordon was ill I was like the proverbial energizer bunny rabbit. Now I am......... just lost."
Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
Grief can have a quality of profound healing, because we are forced to a depth of feelings that is usually below the threshold of awareness.Stephen Levine,Taken from the Colour of Light.
Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
 
This blog about the loss of my mom has been the hardest to write and a long time coming.
Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
Tucked away among the trees on the shore of lake Huron there resides a camp known to many of us campers as the camp with a heart. A place where each summer HIV positive individuals, their partners, and their families can relax and be pampered for a week. My first year as a camper I was shocked to find out such a great place existed. I was so impressed that the second year I invited my biggest supporter (my sister Beth) to join me. Last year was my third year and I wanted to give back in any way I could.
Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
Blog#45 Mo-Monday
"Hey, where did everybody go I am wondering to myself? I didn't do anything wrong! So, why am I being blinded by megawattage of lightsglaring me in the face?" I felt like a deer in headlights with nowhere to run......
Posted September 8, 2014 by Church Mouse
Missing You Valentines Day 2014,
Posted September 5, 2014 by Church Mouse
Even though others have shared this sacred space,For one week we enjoyed our special place.Tradition is what this place is all about....Native,spiritual,acceptence there's no doubt.Friendships made and compassion shared.....Life's pain and frustrations sometimes bared.The tears we shed are accepted here,From year to year and peer to peer.An expression of how much we care,To let them flow if we dare.This place is where we feel understood,By campers ,staff ,we knew they would.
Posted August 26, 2014 by Church Mouse
As I turned 56 at the beginningof the month I am reminded of my late husband ,who'sbirthday was three days before. But one year younger.This poem is for him. 
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