The End of My Love Affair with Smoking

Posted November 11, 2015 by

You know when you LOOOOOOVE something, but you know it’s no good? That boy/ girl who’s great in bed, but treats you like shit. That movie that scares the hell out of you, but you watch it anyway. Drinking… smoking.


Damn, I LOVE smoking.

But it’s not healthy, right? Right. We all know this, but most of us don’t care because; “It’s not the right time,” or “I’m really stressed at work right now,” or “Maybe when I have kids,” or “EVERYONE I know smokes!” Yeah, I’ve said all that and more.

I’m not preaching or saying “GO OUT AND QUIT RIGHT NOW!” I’m just saying I have (just) quit smoking (about three weeks). Besides my brain constantly reminding me that I could be smoking during every activity life has to offer, it’s been great. It FEELS great. Walking the dog? You could be smoking. Taking your break at lunch? Why aren’t you smoking? Drinking with your friends? Seriously, why aren’t you smoking?! The answer to those questions? I don’t want to anymore! I mean, I love smoking, but I don’t want to smoke anymore. Just like I loved getting high on downers every day, but I didn’t want to anymore. The issues that came up with downers were a lot more visible physically and the effects it had on my social and personal life were a lot more prevalent.

Smoking has its shitty effects too. The ones we know and think of; heart disease, erectile dysfunction, and cancer(s) being the big one…. it’s a long list, but there were other negative effects it had on my life that I was starting to notice; besides standing out in the rain and freezing weather. I couldn’t run around with my dog for more than 30 seconds or I’d have to sit for 30 minutes, panting. It was putting a bit of a strain on my romantic relationship because my partner doesn’t smoke. It wasn’t that they said anything, but it’s gross to kiss someone who tastes like chemicals all the time. We would be having a great conversation, and I’d want to go for a smoke. We’d have great sex and instead of lying in bed, I’d go have a smoke because we don’t smoke inside the home. Instead of enjoying the full feeling after a great meal they cooked, I’d go have a smoke. Their car started to smell because they were nice enough to let me smoke in it.

I don’t know if there’s much of a point to this blog, like most of my blogs, but I just thought I would share, and remind what the shitty sides of smoking are.

Now, after all the shitty, let me share the good and great! I’ve been smoking since I was 14. Since my early teen years and into my early adulthood I haven’t tasted or smelled things for what they really are. Well let me tell you, I DO NOW. Like I said, I’ve only been not smoking for three weeks, but by the first week I could already smell subtle things I couldn’t before. Things taste much better. I can keep up with my dog, or at least much better than I could. After sex, I just enjoy the tingles and ecstasy. After dinner, I just enjoy the feeling of full and satisfaction.

I LOVED smoking, but now I LOVE not smoking. I’ll add that of course I’ve caved to two of my cravings. Both were while I was drinking and both didn’t last longer than two drags. I thought I wanted it because I always did, but it tasted gross and was the opposite of satisfying.  

There. End. Take from this what you will, I’ve always said I can talk a lot, but I’ve never said I was wise.