Homophobia Part Two

Posted September 9, 2014 by

Homophobia is an illness; it can be prevented, it can be cured.

As I mentioned in the previous blog, ("Homophobia Gets Me Angry") I believe I can get over the homophobia I've had directed my way from a family member but I failed to say how I know I will do it. I will because I am empowered now, I have learned the tools I will need to deal with all that happens in my life in my future. I still have a great support/care team and my future is looking pretty darn amazing.

In the title I mentioned that homophobia can be cured. It's funny, they still try to claim that being gay is a choice, its a mental disease and you can be cured of or "Pray the Gay Away". Homophobia is not officially listed as a disease but it should be. No one is born with it, it’s spread by word of mouth by homophobic people.

I also mentioned in the title that there is prevention and it is happening in another part of my family. It's so amazing. My son and his wife vowed to raise their children to be accepting of all people; they don’t point out the differences in people or if its something good or bad. You see, I’m not the only gay person in my family, my son's brother in law, the uncle to his children, is gay as well.

On a visit to my son’s house he and I were playing the new version of the game of LIFE, with his two oldest girls. The game sure has changed since I was young. Anyway, as you play the game, there comes a time when you have to marry and have children. I was less than comfortable to choose a male partner when it came my time so I chose a woman. I thought I was out of the woods on that, nothing was said at the time, until it came time to put the game away. While picking up all the pieces that were spread all over the table, my 7 and 9 year old granddaughters asked, "how come you married a girl and not a boy"? I was speechless. I struggled for something to say but said, next time I will choose a boy.

Last week was my son's birthday, the brother in law/uncle and his partner were invited and out came the game of LIFE again. I chose to sit this one out and watched. When the uncle and his partner each had to marry, they both chose a boy. Not a confused look, question or comment from either granddaughter. When it came a time they were to have a child, my 7 year old granddaughter informed them they would have to adopt because they couldn't have a child of their own. I almost teared up, I was so proud, she said it with so much knowledge. I really wasn't aware of how much they knew at this point. This was "homophobia prevention" at work and it was beautiful.

Several times I've heard my son say he got “this or that” from me, now I can honestly say he did this time. Hiding in a closet, knowing all those years I was gay, when my kids asked those questions I never taught them that it was wrong, instead I told them that gay people were just as good everyone else, that people with a disability should not be made fun of and I tried to help them understand people of other cultures. I had many friends, good friends who were from a variety of other ethnic backgrounds. I grew up having racial barriers pointed out to me like "they should marry their own," “those people are like this or that”. I listened to it, I couldn't do much to change the thinking of those people at the time, I only knew that when it came to me, I had a choice, I can pick my own friends. I'm proud of myself to have made that choice and pass it on to my children because now there are two new generations making things better.

There is someone out there that you know who is gay, a family member, a friend, it could be someone on your street. That person is struggling to come out, wanting and hoping for your acceptance. Your relationship doesn’t have to change, he or she will remain to be the same person you knew before they told you. Being gay isn’t something that happens in a bedroom, its not a sex act, it’s a human life.

Make a Commitment to Change. Join the fight to end the homophobic illness. Speak up and speak out against homophobia. Prevent Homophobia, teach acceptance for everyone.