Posted August 3, 2015 by


 Life’s little ups and downs

This morning I was pouring my Honey Nut Cheerios from the box into a Tupperware container. All of them wouldn’t fit, so I decided to pour the leftovers into a bowl. I left them on the counter to eat later. I had just poured my first coffee and wanted to savoir it first.

Later I went to the kitchen to get them and a family member commented, “did you forget about them?”

Oooh, what a cheap shot, hinting at the fact I’m getting forgetful because of my age. So I snapped back.  I informed her what really happened and why they were sitting there. I told her ‘I was thinking’, I had used my head for more than a hat rack (pun intended). 

It was a positive moment for me, I am thinking, I’m not losing it - yet.

They Shoot Horses Don’t They?

We don’t get to choose our immediate family or the DNA that comes with it. When it comes to being ‘just like’ someone else in the family, how often do we say, ‘oh that’s not going to happen to me, I’m going to take better care of myself’. That's the dumbest thing to say or think - ever, because DNA will whoop you down.

In my family heart ailments and diabetes are very common but there is one other condition I thought would not happen to me, because I walk a lot, I do things that will prevent - arthritis. Wrong!

I haven’t seen the doctor to have it checked out, so I haven’t had it confirmed to be arthritis, but everyone I know who has it says the signs are there.

For a few months now I’ve felt it in my left thumb, then the ring finger on my right hand. Now it has appeared in my left knee. The right one might have early signs of it but it is being overworked compensating for the weight I find myself shifting on to it.

I’ve walked most of my life, except during the last couple winters. Now I didn’t want to leave the house.

If I was a horse, they’d shoot me, wouldn’t they? Maybe I’m making more out of it than I should, I’m still mobile, no need for a cane or a walker yet, knock on wood.

Invisiblity or ageism?

I used to see this come up on Facebook from time to time - “if you were granted a super power, what would it be?” I always choose invisibility and wait for the comments. Some would come in as, “oh, so you could sneak up on people getting naked” eh?

Now that I am older, I feel I have achieved that super power. You know that eerie feeling you get when you think someone is watching you, yeah, I don’t get that feeling. I don’t think I’m being paranoid, I’m just observant of what is happening around me.

Last week was Pride week where I live, so I wanted to take in an art exhibit because some photos I contributed to a project my local AIDS Service Organization had done a couple years ago were included I went into the venue, stopped a minute to look around to see if there was anyone I knew, but there was no one.

I looked around the room and they were all younger people, early thirties at the oldest, all in several little groups talking. I may have caught a glimpse my way but I won’t say it happened for sure.

So I went about looking at the art as a cellist played behind me. All the art was supposed to be contributed by LGBT community members. I would have liked to have contributed something but I only heard about it the week before. It was a small showing but the art was very well presented, some very creative works.

When I stopped by the photos from the AIDS Service Organization,  someone else was looking at them. The subject of the photos is homophobia in graffiti so text was included to explain the message in the photo. The only eye contact that I had was with a guy nearest the exit, I had to walk in front of him and excuse myself. He just smiled and he let me pass without saying a word. Later we passed each other on the street and……….no eye contact.

The effects of growing older shouldn’t be the burden of the older, it just doesn’t seem fair. The only way to get a break is to take things a bit slower. Up to now this isn’t what I set out to do so I won’t be making any plans for my next twenty years, it might slow any further surprises.

*This article was originally published on PositiveLite.Com, Canada's Online HIV Magazine (